I ate only cherry sours for a week and my digestion got weird

Finding a candy with a 9.9 score is basically like spotting a glitch in the matrix. We're looking at a total zero-sugar situation here, which is wild for something that usually hits like a glucose bomb. Based on the label, this snack likely offers a punchy, tart vibe without the inevitable insulin spike. It's the kind of thing you'd keep in your desk drawer for those 3 PM office slumps when you need a quick distraction. The texture likely leans into that classic chewy sour feel we all crave. However, the big trade-off is the mystery—the ingredients list is still 'updating,' so we don't actually know what's replacing that sugar. It's a top-tier choice for the health-conscious snacker, but some people might want more transparency before committing to a full bag.

This is the classic, old-school sour experience, but the label tells a pretty heavy story. With 62g of sugar per 100g, it's a straight-up sugar rush waiting to happen. The ingredient list is a bit of a chemistry project, featuring corn syrup, dextrose, and Red #40. You can practically feel the glossy, waxed texture just by reading about the carnauba and beeswax coating. It's perfect for a nostalgic movie night where you just want that artificial, mouth-puckering zing. The honest trade-off? It's loaded with artificial dyes and glazes that might not sit well with everyone's clean-eating goals. It's definitely a 'treat yourself' vibe rather than a daily snack, especially with that 3.8 score hanging over it. Some people may find the artificial flavor profile a bit too intense for regular consumption.

Jelly Belly is coming in hot with a massive 64g of sugar, which is definitely on the higher end of the spectrum for these reviews. This is that high-octane fuel for when you're pulling an all-nighter or need a quick hit of sweetness during a long road trip. The score of 3.6 suggests this is more about the flavor experience than the nutritional profile. We're missing the full ingredient breakdown here, which is a bit of a bummer for the label-readers out there. The trade-off is clearly the sugar density; it may lead to a pretty sharp crash later on. It's a bold choice for those who prioritize that iconic gummy texture over everything else, but maybe not for the daily rotation. The high sugar concentration can be overwhelming for those used to more natural snacks.

Switching gears to a liquid snack, this soursop drink brings a much more balanced 12g of sugar and a solid 8.8 score. It's got a 25% fruit puree base, which suggests a thicker, more authentic mouthfeel than your average soda. This feels like a great post-gym refresher when you want something tropical and tart but don't want to drink a liquid candy bar. It uses ascorbic acid for a Vitamin C boost, which is a nice touch for the label. The trade-off here is the inclusion of artificial soursop flavor and stabilizers like CMC. While the score is high, some purists might find the artificial additives a bit of a letdown compared to the real fruit puree. It's a sophisticated choice for someone looking to move away from high-sugar carbonated drinks.

These fruit yoyos are a fascinating mix. The ingredient list is actually super clean—just apples, pears, pumpkin, and strawberries. No weird dyes or waxes here, just black carrot extract for color. It's the ultimate win for a kid's lunchbox because it feels like a treat but is grounded in actual produce. However, the 45g of sugar is the elephant in the room. Even if it's coming from fruit, that's a significant amount of sweetness packed into those rolls. The trade-off is that 'natural' doesn't always mean 'low sugar,' and the 5.5 score reflects that middle-ground reality. It's a great alternative to artificial gummies, but you still have to watch the portion sizes. The texture is likely dense and fruit-leather-like, which can be a bit sticky for some people.