The 90s Candy Aisle Grew Up

Remember the '90s when granola was just granola? This Oats and Dark Chocolate Protein Granola feels like the upgrade we didn't know we needed. The label lists Whole Grain Oats and Soy Protein Isolate, which gives it a denser, more satisfying crunch than the sugary stuff we used to pour into bowls. The Semisweet Chocolate Chunks add a nice hit of nostalgia. It scored a solid 7.4, which feels about right. It's substantial enough to keep you going through a long afternoon at the office, but be warned: the sugar content (26g/100g) means you might get a bit of a crash later. It's a definite step up from the plain oats of the past, though.

These ice cream bars take me right back to the corner store freezer aisle, but with a slightly more grown-up profile. The ingredients list starts with cream and skim milk, promising that classic richness. The dark chocolate and vegetable oil coating is where you might notice a difference from pure cocoa bars of the past. With a score of 7.6, it's a solid choice. The sugar is listed at 24g/100g, which is fairly standard for this type of dessert. It's the perfect late-night treat when you want something cold and chocolatey without overthinking it. The trade-off is that the coating isn't pure chocolate, so the mouthfeel is a bit different.

This is a throwback to those fancy holiday nut tins, but simplified. The label is straightforward: Dark Chocolate and Pistachios. The sugar content is noticeably higher here at 33g/100g, which makes sense given the sweet shell around the savory nut. It scored a 6.7, suggesting it's more of an indulgence than a health food. The ingredients include whole milk powder and butter fat, giving it a very rich, creamy chocolate taste that pairs well with the salty crunch of the pistachio. It's a great option for a small handful when you need a quick hit of energy on a hike, but the sweetness can be a bit much if you eat too many.

This Dark Chocolate Coated Butter Cookie feels like a direct descendant of those tins of cookies everyone's grandma had. The ingredients list is a trip down memory lane: sugar, wheat flour, butter, glucose syrup. It's unapologetically a treat. The score of 6.1 reflects that it's not trying to be anything else. The sugar is the highest of the bunch at 39g/100g, and you can taste it. The texture, based on the ingredients, is likely a crisp, crumbly cookie center with a rich chocolate shell. It's perfect for that 'just one with coffee' moment, but the trade-off is clear: it's very sweet and the nutritional value is minimal. It's a pure nostalgia play.

This bar feels like the modern evolution of the trail mixes we'd scoop into Ziploc bags for school trips. The ingredients are a wholesome roll call: pumpkin seeds, peanuts, almonds, and dried cranberries. It's held together with chicory root fiber and a touch of honey and cane sugar, keeping the total sugar to a much more reasonable 20g/100g. The 8.0 score is the highest here, and it's easy to see why. It has that crunchy, seedy texture with a burst of tartness from the cranberries. It's a fantastic grab-and-go bar for the gym bag. The only trade-off is the texture; the dense, seedy mix isn't for everyone and can be a bit chewy.